I listen to so much true crime that I was like okay be careful here and then I was like wait, what are you even worried is in the van, a sex trafficking ring for blind women with low self esteem, and then I was like okay you don’t have to be mean and my drive home was kind of quiet and sad.
And as The Internet finished its argument about comedy, it looked up and saw that the party had mostly emptied. And so The Internet suggested someone tell a joke to lighten the mood, and after a long silence, The Internet’s eyes lit up and it said “Oh! I do have a somewhat amusing list of inappropriate employer behavior!”
None of the stars sharing champagne with me on the red carpet knew that my laughter was a mask. I was living the Hollywood dream by day but at night I was a prisoner, in my own home, of my fiancée’s dog