Generalized Depression - Inktober Illness II - Day 5 .
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Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living.
Although depression may occur only once during your life, people typically have multiple episodes. During these episodes, symptoms occur most of the day, nearly every day and may include:
Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
For many people with depression, symptoms usually are severe enough to cause noticeable problems in day-to-day activities, such as work, school, social activities or relationships with others. Some people may feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.
Holy heck this is the most accurate description of my life! I loooooooooove being alone. I love laying in my bed reading books and yes... textbooks too. I love painting. I love naps. Podcasts. Rainy days with tea. I love writing poetry and journaling about this beautiful life. I love stretching this body and being patient with my mind. I loooooove being by myself.
Because I love being alone so much I used to think it was because I was an introvert. And then you meet me in person and you realize that is the exact opposite of who I am 😂 I am not scared to talk to anyone. I am that person who is always talking, smiling, and laughing with strangers in public. Grocery store clerk = new friend. Random stranger on the train = new friend. Every person filling a lecture hall = friends, friends, friends! I love being with people. I love being in a room full of people engaging, laughing, and having a hella good time. I am a true to its core extrovert.
So seeing this quote made it make sense to me. It's not that I'm an introvert. I just am comfortable being alone. I love hanging out with myself. I am a good friend to myself and truly great company.
Like a wolf I am on my own howling at the moon, but as I hear the other howls I run to my pack already fallen in love with the night 🌕