I don’t even know. I was taking a poop and updated an app. It had clouds in it. It’s a guy pooping behind clouds and then he does a little non committed blowing thing because he wasn’t sure how much the clouds were moving. Your Dan Refund is in the mail and it’s double what you paid which is nothin’ so shut up
Don’t worry, I also needed to try pushing it, even though I knew the story, and no, it is not a button, it is just a light the size and shape of a button. Its job is to confirm the pushing of the less extravagant button to its right, the one that the people even tried putting a little light in the middle of before finally hiring a flashy “button indicator” to “help it out” but let’s be real, the next time Old Stainless over there gets sticky, he’s taking one last ride to the bottom and he’s going in a box and Little Lord Starlight can take over with its cost efficient, elevator pleasing bullshit but guess what, you plastic fuck, when I got here there was a lever and I don’t remember its name either
Hi, honey, how was your day / Kind of rad, actually, I measured the tent / Okay, did you talk to Emily about that job / No because, the album - / Right, the album. Are you using this extension cord / It’s 3.05 meters long / Cool, I’m going to take a two hour bath with the door locked / Okay I’ll measure our knives
Super excited to announce our new home for Harmontown! We will be performing in front of a live audience again at Dynasty Typewriter on our new night, Mondays at 8pm, starting June 4th! Tickets are on sale now! @dynastytypewriter@harmontown
Dan. It’s me, yourself at 50 years old. What you are looking at is good. What you are looking at is what “making it” looks like. it isn’t currently what you think making it FEELS like but you don’t get through the next door with your giant, paper thin ego set to its current level of sensitivity. Past this door is tenure. Autonomy. Security. Prizes for grownups, prizes for professionals, prizes you can’t pick up while sucking your thumb and jerking off. You are not going to conflate people’s thoughts about your work with your value as a person anymore because you are not a 30 year old, delusional, malignant narcissist compelled to self destruct. You are almost me and I am almost happy. Do not fuck this up for me. You are going to do your job and you are MAYBE going to do it well but you are going to follow your own judgment and that of your collaborators and you are going to stay off Twitter and not look at comments and you are never going to read articles that Robert Kirkman texts you just to fuck with you.