So, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am finally ready to let this little girl go and the pain she carries. It does not suit me any longer. This pain has done nothing but prison me from experiencing the joy in my life now. The little girl I speak of is the past version of myself. By revealing this to you all, I hope to find the strength and support I will need.For the last few years I’ve made it a priority to tell the truth about my feelings to others. I was all about holding everyone accountable for what they did not protect me from as a child, what they subjected me to as a teen, and how they made me feel in my present state as a woman. Now, while all this is happening, I realized I was not holding myself accountable for dwelling in this state. I wept and sobbed in my BF’s arms two nights ago because the pain of letting go is too hard. How can I let me go? Everything that was done to me created the person that I am. I was let down so much - I can’t let myself down. I made it my mission to protect and work so hard for the little girl that was stolen from me. This is when I realized, I never really grew up. My whole over-18-years-old adult life has been to make up to the “Brittanie” that didn’t have love. The little girl who was raped by someone who was supposed to be her family. The girl who was neglected and abused by parents and made to feel guilty for her own existence. The teenager, who at 15, almost failed school because she was sleeping in class; tired from working to pay bills. — I wanted to give her everything. — BUT, I realized by doing this, I was the one now stealing from myself. This time, it is the grown woman I am now. I’ve devoted so much of my life trying to make right, trying to nurture, trying to care for the girl that was neglected, that I forgot about me. The Me, I am now. I spent all my adult life trying to make the little girl that I was so proud ...I forgot to be happy. I want to be happy.—— So this year, I am working on Self Discovery, Equanimity and Peace. I am striving towards forgiveness. I must thank the little girl who got me here - she deserves a goodbye. And hopefully, she and I will be able to finally release hands in unanimity.
Tea Party ready in my @fashionnova dress. 💛 This dress is seriously giving me all types of Bravo TV Housewife, feels. 🙈😆 Could you imagine getting this dressed and glammed up every day? Even when you have nothing planned other than going to IKEA? 😅 I think I may seriously consider trying it - getting glam every day for a month. 🤔 Do any of you get glam every day? How do you like it?
Search: Truth Serum Lace Dress
Fluffy and comfy in @fashionnova. 💕
I love me a good lounge & go set - one minute I was on my couch chillin’ watching a Netflix documentary and twenty minutes later, I was on my way to Target to buy something I don’t need. 😂👌🏾
Living for this @fashionnova romper. 🍓 I actually am wearing it backwards. I liked the idea of an open-back romper more than I liked the extra cleavage it showed. I think it’s perfect this way. 🍒 Do you guys intentionally wear your clothes in ways other than they were designed?
Puff Puff and away! 💁🏾♀️♥️ My hair has been growing like crazy using my @HAIRtamin vitamins. Seriously, my puff has doubled in size over the last month or so and I feel like I’m watching it grow before my eyes. 🙌🏾 Now that my hair is longer, I can wear my puff more often. I’m super excited! #HAIRtamin
How old am I? Well, our chips were 25 cents and they had Lil Bow Wow and Lil Romeo on them.👌🏾 How Old Am I? We watched movies by VHS and you had to turn your tv to channel 03 to start your VHS. You had to rewind that bad boy all the way to the beginning or it would start exactly where you left off when you tried to pop it back in. You had to blow in it just like you had to do that Sega Genesis for it to work. And our Disney movies all had cute VHS Cases to go with them. 😜😂How Old am I? Grand Theft Auto graphics had characters looking like legos. Everything was a blurry blocky mess. And there was no pausing during missions. Oh no! If your mom called you for dinner or if your friends were outside waiting to play; they had to wait! If you didn’t finish that mission right then and there, time to start all over fam. 😖 How Old am I? We got dressed in our best colorful leg warmers, name belts, and tutu skirts for Kiddie Discos on Easter - Harlem Shake dance contest were lit. 💁🏾♀️ How Old Am I? We went to the mall with our friends in our best “fits” (chokers, low rider jeans, patterned bandanas, and our spray painted name shirt) to take pictures against the backdrop of our choosing. Then we would have to walk around the mall waiting for our pictures to develop, just to take them to school and hand them out to our friends. We never forgot to write a cute note on the back of each picture we gave out.🤣 THATS HOW OLD I AM. We was lit fam!
Sidebar: if you know what they played on channel 96 back in the day - you wild! 😂💁🏾♀️